Our NSF grant was canceled at Northwestern

Last Friday, our NSF grant was illegally terminated by the federal government. We are one of over 400 grants that were similarly and unceremoniously terminated last Friday. Here is the obligatory screenshot of the email I received last week.

There are predictions that another round will take place today. They seem to wait til Friday late afternoon. As you may imagine, it has been pure chaos ever since. We are putting out fires everywhere. Trying to come up with answers to a million questions we don't have the answers to. What will happen to our staff, graduate students, and postdoctoral researchers? How will this impact our relations with families and trusted community partners? How can we effectively engage our university leadership to provide support, both legally and financially, and otherwise? How will we pivot and move forward with the work now? And why the fuck did NSF terminate this award in the first place?

Well, we have the answer to that one. It's because the American people voted for a POS President. While I'm angry at DOGE and the NSF, in this moment I locate most of my frustration, sadness, anger, and disappointment in the however many millions of people who voted for this administration. This is really what you all stand by? It's hard not to feel cynical right now. I know I sound angry. The wounds are still very fresh...

Some voices on social media are urging those of us with grants canceled to write posts like this one and use the moment to educate the public about the value of our work. I understand why some people feel that now is the time to articulate the value of higher education to their friends, family, and colleagues. But to be honest, the last thing I want to do right now is justify what our grant was about. It feels like an additional indignity I don't have the stomach for.

All I want to say is that I cringe at the reductive and disparaging way our work is referred to as "DEI.” What does that even mean? Our “DEI” project is investigating the awful and voluminous history of structural racial hostility towards Evanston's Black communities. And the impact of that on the educational experiences of Black families and children. And then using that historical knowledge to help inform the kinds of appropriate remedies needed, what kihana miraya ross calls "educational reparations." So who knows, maybe DOGE made a mistake. When I appeal the decision—and I certainly will—I will be sure to clarify that our research was investigating far more than “DEI” in STEM.

Just last night, I heard the NSF director is stepping down. What will happen next? I think it’s a little ironic and a little funny that Harvard is the face of the opposition in this moment. But it's what we have, and truthfully, I’m inspired and grateful for the courage I see all around me. I know I don’t sound like it in this post. But I am. Tired and appreciative of so many colleagues and leaders right now doing the right thing. Thank you and Happy Friday to everyone.