Why I write on here, a vulnerable moment with my doctor, and what you can expect from this Substack in 2025...
I write on substack to experiment with a new kind of voice and writing. To work towards a more authentic self expression than perhaps I am used to doing as a professor. As scholars we write from evidence, from reason, and on particular topics related to our areas of specialization. For me, with a background in engineering and a doctorate in education, my academic writing lives at the intersections of technology, power, education, identity, and learning. Here, I'm trying to switch things up a little bit. To write on things I'm not necessarily “qualified” to write about, for reasons I don't have to justify, and with heart and emotion just as much as mind and logic. Of course, academic and research topics that I'm working on and deeply passionate about show up here, but it's not the main squeeze. This is a space to practice thinking through the messy, humorous, ludicrous, and intriguing parts of being human through the sacred medium of the written word. To write for the sake of writing. To play with words and ideas. To give parts of myself that don't always show up in my more formal professional roles permission to show up in my writing. In past essays, I've written on ideas I'm thinking about related to my research and teaching, shared reflections on culture and politics like my letter to Trump-supporting Muslim and Middle-Eastern men, given unsolicited advice to prospective graduate students, and also shared some more really personal writings like the tribute I wrote to my grandmother. One of my favorite pieces from last year was an essay on the role of comedy in our increasingly divided political culture. In 2025, you can expect more of the same and also some new stuff. In my next essay (still working on it) I reflect on how I'm clumsily finding my way around the world of therapy. I'm not a therapy guy, not at all. But somehow, I've gone from zero to a hundred. I now find myself in couples therapy, individual therapy, and a new cognitive behavioral therapy men’s group in Chicago, held at a nondescript Kung Fu studio. And to top it off, kihana (wife) and I are watching the 2019 Showtime series Couples Therapy, which I can't believe how much I'm enjoying. Who even am I?!
To everyone who has read and engaged with my writing here. I appreciate each of you. I’m humbled that I have a growing number of voluntary paid subscriptions. My biggest moment of flattery, though, if a bit of an awkward moment - was a couple of weeks ago at my annual check-up. Worried about where my primary care doctor - a male physician - might poke and prod at my tender age of 41, I was caught off guard when the first thing he said was, "I think my wife reads your substack." Then he said, "You wrote something about the Middle East, right?" The moments before disrobing in front of your doctor is not the ideal time for me to talk politics, I wisely assessed. Somehow, a flattering moment turned into a wildly vulnerable moment. But I guess that's sort of the point of what I'm doing here on Substack. To expose myself (not like that) and experiment with vulnerability. As I reflect on the last year or so and look ahead to 2025, I'm truly grateful to everyone who has supported me on this writing journey. Thanks for humoring me and showing me love along the way. Between my day job and the relentless demands of parenting little children, finding the time to sit down and write from a more vulnerable place often feels next to impossible. And yet, in some inexplicable way, I feel compelled to do it.
